The Titanic…
The Hindenburg…
World War 1…
World War 2: The Reckoning…
Starvation…
Disease…
Genocide…
And finally… Facebook changed their news feed.
This morning, I got up, and there was only a little bit of milk for my coffee, they had changed the packaging on Cocoa Pebbles, one of my shoes was tied before I put it on, so I had to untie it and re-tie it all over again, and my lucky underwear was in the wash.
I was already having a worse day than everyone else on the entire planet, when I went to Facebook, just to try and gather up what was left of my existence… Then my world came a-tumblin’ down like when someone’s footsteps are too heavy and they knock over a game of Jenga (In progress, no less)!
I spent 4 days in the fetal position when they changed how the chat worked, and now I was trying to blink my way through the torrents of tears that were falling on my ‘dry-clean only’ shirt to see the horrors they had unleashed this time, but it was just too awful. How could they? HOW COULD THEY?!
My day couldn’t possibly be more ruined! I tried to call in sick to work, but it looked like most of my coworkers had beaten me to it, so I had to go in anyway.
On the way there I stopped for a breakfast sandwich, and it looked nothing like the picture on the menu. Then I was stuck in traffic for 20 MINUTES! Can you even freaking imagine?! Then the satellite radio went out. It’s like I’m living in SUDAN.
When I got to work, I checked Facebook again, praying to the best of the Gods that they had realized their error and corrected it. Alas, it remained the way it was this morning… Poisoning my day… Like the barista adding whole milk to my coffee instead of 2%.
I don’t know how I’m going to make it through the rest of my day. Even when I can’t see it, it eats at me.
Better bitch about it on Facebook.
(I just pray I don't accidentally click on the Adobe Reader icon and have to wait for it to fully load before I can close it. I live in HELL)
